The anti-violence, women’s, center of Clara

To be free from emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

A help, for people who suffered violence even though only psychological, could be the support of anti-violence, or women’s, centers, which you can choose from those that you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Today, we are going to know the anti-violence, or women’s, center of Clara.

Clara Pappalardo has a university degree in literary subjects and has been a teacher in junior high school from 1967 to 2006. She has been a member of the Provincial Board of Directors of CGIL (an Italian labor union) School from 1986 to 1995 and has held the role of the Head of the Western Zone of Naples (Italy) and of its province for CGIL School. She has been the President of the Association “Arcidonna Napoli” from 1995 to January 2016. Currently, she is the vice president. Till to-day, she has been holding the position of Director and Coordinator of the Anti-Violence Center of the City of Naples since 1997, the year of its establishment. She is an expert in training and planning, she edited popular publications on gender violence.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of this subject?”.

Answer: “First of all, I can not consider it a subject because gender violence, being founded on the unequal distribution of power between men and women, not only weaves the history of our relations but the personal and social daily life of each of us. Therefore, it is an inherent interest in being a woman, although the awareness of the causes and of the need for change occurs and matures in various stages of life, which sometimes are also discontinuous. For me, the awareness was born in the 70s at the time of the feminist movement and of self-consciousness, but has developed and turned in the willingness to act in a targeted and specific way in the 90s, when I became a member of Arcidonna, which, since a long time, had been promoting awareness campaigns in schools and in vain had been trying to speak with the local authorities in order to open a shelter house for abused women also in Naples. In 1997, various associations that dealt with anti-violence in Naples decided to downsize their sacrosanct demands and submitted a project aimed at creating an Anti-Violence Advice Center at the Women’s Center of the City of Naples. The project was approved and funded for nine months and was entrusted to Arcidonna as the leader. In the following years, from 1999 up to now, the Centre has been kept alive thanks to the free and voluntary work of various operators and practitioners, who have placed their experience and expertise to the disposal of the other women, allowing a continuity of operations that the funding by fits and starts of the Municipality would never have assured. In the meanwhile, in 2011, finally they opened the first Shelter House for abused women of the City of Naples, “Fiorinda House”, which allowed the women of Naples to have an opportunity to get away from the place of the violence and to stay in a protected space, where they could find the time and the resources needed to rebalance and to re-plan themselves”.

Question: “What is the main help provided by an anti-violence center?”.

Answer: “An anti-violence center managed by female associations offers a place to women subjected to violence, where they are listened to and accepted in an empathetic and supportive manner by other women free from prejudice and non-judgmental; a place where they are accompanied by experienced people to gradually make clarity within themselves and to make the decisions, which each woman considers as the most appropriate to safeguard herself and, often, to find herself again.
The woman takes her bearings with the help of the operator defining a customized plan, which can lead her to exit from the situation that afflicts her. The plan can include the psychological support, the legal advice and assistance, the career guidance, the activation of an inter-institutional network of services, ranging from social and health assistance to services relevant to safety measures, such as police and courts. However, in an anti-violence center, the woman never loses the centrality of the decision-making process: it is up to her to decide if and when to report, what are the services to be used and what are the strategies to be implemented in order to face the violence. This is essential, because the recovery of self-esteem can only happen if you leave space and awareness to self-determination”.

Question: “What simple suggestion could you provide us to be practiced every day?”.
Question: “What is your personal message for people who want to break free from manipulation (narcissistic abuse)?”.

Answer: “I am going to answer to these two questions all together, because the suggestion and the message are similar. In my opinion, a woman must never think in front of a violence, both psychological and physical, to have the responsibility of that violence. She must not think that it will be enough that she changes so that the violence ends, because it is not so. The origin of the violence is not inside her, but it is outside. She should only try to cope with it, if she can and feels up to do it, or to distance her from it. We must never forget that our dignity is inalienable and we must not allow anyone, not even the person who we love the most, not even a son, to trample it. At any price! It is the best way that we have, not only to feel good about ourselves, but also to induce the other individual to look within himself and to improve his relationship with the people around him and with life”.

Thanks Clara!

I met Clara in the summer of 2013, when the anti-violence center was near Palazzo Donn’Anna in Posillipo, when a stranger more heavily tormented me with his daily unwanted irruptions in my life and after that the reports had only proved to be a needed bureaucratic step. There, I spent one of my most intense, most painful, but also most beautiful days. I met many volunteers, operators and expert practitioners, who were able to listen to, to understand, to explain, to clarify and to really help. There, in the waiting room, I met many women, many stories, much suffering and a single wish: to have their life back.

However, I invite you not to confuse violence with emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse). Dynamics, motivations and effects are very different. In my case, for instance, they have been the harassing actions of a stranger to bring to light the family emotional manipulation. According to this document of the Police (only in Italian), what happens to me can be described as a sadistic behavior, in which the victim is the subject of an obsessive thought and is seen as a prey, she is considered an individual to be ruined because perceived as happy and fulfilled. In this context, usually, no plausible explanation exists in the perception of the victim about the reason why she has been taken aim at. The initial level of acquaintance is low, the kind of approach is initially benevolent, later on becoming increasingly persecutory. The systematic infiltration in the life of the prey aims at creating disconcertment and nervousness, and is implemented with very high emotional coldness. The persecutory behavior can be addressed to all the people close to the victim, in an attempt to isolate her. Sometimes, it is just the latter who moves away from family members or friends, to avoid exposing them to danger. Threats can be explicit or shifty. Damage to property of the victim can happen. These people can be very dangerous, especially for the psychological violence. Some behaviors have a sexual matrix and are mainly intended to humiliate the victim, to disgust her, and, in general, to undermine her self-esteem. This is a case to be taken into serious consideration, since the conduct of the stranger could not independently stop. It can be counterproductive to directly turn to the persecutor in order to induce him to cease the harassing behavior which, however, would be denied.

Despite these awful events, manipulators (narcissists), men and women, can act as nothing has happened, are insensitive and merciless and demand that attention is focused only on them.

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/soluzioniolisticheallemanipolazioniaffettive

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, Il centro antiviolenza di Clara

 

 

 

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The Plantar Reflexology of Emilia

To be free from emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Among these daily exercises there is the practice of one or more holistic disciplines, which you can choose from those that you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Let us know them better.

Today it is the turn of the Plantar Reflexology of Emilia.

Emilia Doarme is a holistic operator and practices, together with various techniques of massage (relaxing, lymphatic drainage, revitalizing, skin-reinforcing), Reiki and Plantar Reflexology, which promote mental and physical balance and re-acquisition of an overall health situation.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of this discipline?”.

Answer: “I am fascinated by these disciplines because they consider the human being as a union of body, mind, emotions, and spirit. The Plantar Reflexology became a passion since I solved the problem of my son: he had been suffering from migraine for years. In about two months, we were able to defeat it”.

Question: “What are its main benefits?”.

Answer: “The uniqueness of the method. It stimulates the self-healing powers that are latent in our body. It transmits an influx of positive and vitalizing energy. It reduces the side effects of cancer treatments. It reduces stress and tension, inducing a state of relaxation. It stimulates blood and lymphatic circulation. It strengthens the immune system”.

Question: “What simple exercise could you suggest us for a daily practice?”.

Answer: “The exercise that I recommend is skimming over the inner bone plantar arch: it generates a movement of transformation of old mental and behavioral patterns, which are no longer needed. It brings an overall sense of greater energy and inner strength. It helps you to gain confidence in relationships and in the expression of yourselves”.

Question: “What is your personal message for those who want to break free from manipulation?”.

Answer: “In order to defend yourselves against manipulators, you do not need to have a ready answer, but to be aware of your value, to work on your emotional response, to remain lucid, to discern, not to be struck. Let us make every possible effort to remain focused not so much on our ideas, which may change, but on our ability and autonomy of reasoning”.

Thanks Emilia!

I met Emilia for the first time in January 2011 and have always appreciated her passion for plantar reflexology, which many people confuse with a normal foot massage. I have never directly experienced it, because I must confess my personal aversion to massages in general. However, about ten years ago, by chance, I was given a wooden foot massage roller for single foot. From the package, a strange instruction sheet with a colored picture came out, which put the various zones of our foot in correspondence with the different parts of our body. This tool, a little uncomfortable in its use, is  excellent in stimulating blood circulation and introduced me to a useful discipline, which was unknown to me until then.

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/soluzioniolisticheallemanipolazioniaffettive

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, La Riflessologia plantare di Emilia

Signatories of the “Sustainability Manifesto for Projects”

Do you remember when, last March 8, 2016, we launched the “Sustainability Manifesto for Projects”? Now there is the opportunity to sign it.

If you are a supporter of Sustainability in project management, or just if you like and share this idea, you can add your signature here.

At the moment, the document is available in English, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish and classic Neapolitan. Yes, the vernacular of the worldwide famous song “’O sole mio”.

You’ll find it at the website: http://sustmanifestproj.wordpress.com/.

If you want to know more about the story of this document, you can read my blog post: Why a sustainability manifesto for projects?

Thanks to all our current and future supporters! 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/manualeprogettisostenibili

 

The Dentosophie of Isabella

To be free from emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Among these daily exercises there is the practice of one or more holistic disciplines, which you can choose from those that you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Let us know them better.

Today it is the turn of the Dentosophie of Isabella.

Isabella De Magistris is a doctor, dentist, specialist in kinesiology applied to dentistry and gnathology and posture, but above all a … DENTOSOPHER.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of this discipline?”.

Answer: “I “met” the Dentosophie more than ten years ago while I understood, thanks to the various master’s and training courses in posturology, the connection between the mouth and the rest of the body. But for me, who have always thought that we are the physical expression of our emotions, of our life, the mere assessment of the physical state of a person was limiting. So, Dentosophie came to “help” me, connecting our teeth with our emotions and, ultimately, expressing who we are and what we feel”.

Question: “What are its main benefits?”.

Answer: “The main benefits are at the postural level, both for the mouth and for the rest of the body, they are emotional, because thanks to the use of the activator people can meet their conflicts and solve them; they are rehabilitation of wrong postures of the tongue and of incorrect (oral) breathing, and orthodontics”.

Question: “What simple exercise could you suggest us for a daily practice?”.

Answer: “I would suggest to practice breathing exercises, especially those that promote the release of the diaphragm”.

Question: “What is your personal message for those who want to break free from manipulation?”.

Answer: “I think that we must believe only in ourselves. The only God existing is inside of us, so we are the craftsmen of what happens to us in our life, because when we think we are creating what later will be manifested to us. Let us remember not to judge other people, both because they are our mirror, that is what we reflect on the outside, and because everyone is making his or her journey to regaining his or her awareness, and every life is a different story. Have a pleasant life”.

Thanks Isabella!

If you are intrigued and want to know more about Dentosophie, you can read my blog post: Finally, a dental treatment more sustainable: the Dentosophie.

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/soluzioniolisticheallemanipolazioniaffettive

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, La Dentosofia di Isabella

Natural, also vegan, remedies for old dogs

If your dog is ten years old or more, he or she is an older dog.

They are more fragile and less agile. They could begin to have joint pain, cardiorespiratory problems, and fatigue of liver and of kidneys. They could also live another ten years, but from now on, they will need more rest and special care and attention. They will begin to suffer more from the hot weather, to get tired during walks and during swims. And, since they will ignore it, it is your care to protect them from their exuberance and from their desire to explore the world and to follow you in these explorations.

Reduce their physical activity, shorten the daily walk, choose warmer hours in the winter and cooler hours in the summer, take them in more quiet places, do not expose them to unnecessary dangers. Let them have their space. Older dogs sleep more, eat less, see less, ear less, sniff more, stagger, start if there are loud noises, and seek your presence more than before. They are weaker, become sick more easily, and heal with more difficulty.

They could no longer bear the medicines, which you usually give them. Read the precautions for use and the contraindications on their instructions before giving to them, and consult your veterinarian. If he or she does not convince you, change him or her and find another doctor, who is  more sensitive to these issues. Many drugs can not be given to patients with hepatic or renal insufficiency, when the assimilation and the elimination of the medicine can be radically compromised. Some drugs can cause heart and vascular diseases among their side effects. Others expose to the potential risk of serious cardiovascular reactions, including heart failure.

Someone could suggest you to change food and to buy expensive bags of specific dry food for dogs with kidney problems or for dogs with liver problems, to reduce the protein content. To reduce proteins, there is no need to spend a fortune on special industrial food. Think about other alternatives for a healthier nourishment: fresh, whole and organic food, vegetables, fruit, mousse of legumes, and cereals. If they are no longer able to chew well because of dental problems, there is the soft, whole and organic bread already sliced . Now, these “human” products are also available at large supermarkets and discount stores at normal prices. Have you tried with rice or pasta timbales, eggplant rissoles, cutlets with lentils or with chickpeas, rice balls, eggplant “parmigiana”, or potato gateau? Prepare the food for them yourself, also cooking in advance and keeping the portions in the refrigerator or in the freezer for the next days. Make several attempts and see what they like the most.

Older dogs often suffer from incontinence. Do not isolate them and, instead, arm yourself with very much patience, with a cloth for floor cleaning and a bucket with water and a detergent as much organic as possible and, above all, with baking soda for a dry washing. To remove unpleasant odors, strew well the baking soda on dry floors and let it work for some hours before removing.

When you have to give the remedies, use gentle methods. Tablets or granules can be hidden in a rissole, also made with soft bread crumb or with their favorite dessert. Here is the recipe (in Italian) for a vegan chocolate cake, which dogs usually like much. Give the rissole in one bite, do not mix it with other foods, and make sure that they swallow it at once. Then, give other rissoles to them with no medicine inside. Also liquid or drop medicines can be added to these single special bites, there is no need to sprinkle them in their mouth with the syringe without the needle, as many people suggest doing. If the taste of the remedy is bitter, you can sweeten it with brown sugar or with raw organic honey. If the remedy contains alcohol, you can let it evaporate for about ten minutes before giving. In short, use your sweetness, your creativity and your imagination.

Here are some natural remedies, many of which are vegan, that you can use for your older dog. They are extremely effective and quick in their action, so use them carefully and do not exaggerate. When they talk you about the placebo effect of these substances, they are joking: the placebo effect does not work with dogs.

Arnica
It is a homeopathic medicine for internal use in granules. For prescriptions and dosages, you can contact a veterinarian specialized in homeopathy. It is used for joint pain, when the dogs totter, stumble, fall and find difficulties in standing up and walking. It is anti-inflammatory and analgesic and acts quickly in case of trauma, haematoma, sprain, contusion, and dislocation.

Propolis
In our case, it is a remedy for internal use. It is a plant resinous substance collected by bees on some poplars and used to cover the hive. It is available as a tincture, or water-alcohol solution, in drops. It has a very bitter and unpleasant taste, which then must be appropriately masked. It is a powerful natural antibiotic.

Bach flowers
They are a remedy for internal use in drops. They are flower essences diluted in brandy, acting on an emotional level. For particular prescriptions and for dosages, you can contact an expert of the sector. In case of emergency or of a sudden, emotional and non emotional, trauma, you can use the rescue remedy of the five flowers: cherry plum, clematis, impatiens, rock rose and star of Bethlehem. If the dog can not swallow, gently raise his or her lip and let the drops fall down on the gum.

Chamomile
It is, in this case, a remedy for external use for washing and disinfecting abrasions, and skin lesions and wounds. They are dried flowers. You can use the infusion of chamomile in the water, also very diluted. You can make compresses or rinse with cotton wool soaked in the infusion. It has bactericidal, decongestant, anti-allergic, anti-inflammatory and pain reliever effects.

Aloe
In this case, we consider it as a remedy for external use. It helps in the treatment of wounds, cuts, abrasions, and bedsores. You can use the leaf of the plant, peeled at the moment and directly applied, with a light pressure, on the area of skin to be disinfected, to be cured and to be healed. It also works with deep and large wounds.

However, your cuddles are the most powerful remedy. An ocean of cuddles.

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, Rimedi naturali, anche vegani, per cani anziani

 

 

The Bach Flowers of Walter

To be free from emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Natural remedies are among these attentions, which you can choose according to what you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Let us know them better.

Today it is the turn of the Bach flowers of Walter.

Walter Nuccio is an information system engineer and has been practicing the study and the application of the Bach flower therapy for many years.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of this natural remedy?”.

Answer: “Years ago, by chance, a book on the subject was given to me. I immediately became fond of it, having found a great therapeutic potential in the awareness that results from the study of the Bach flowers. Anyone, even from a mere reading of the descriptions of the flowers, can easily recognize inclinations and behavioral traits, which characterize him or her and which are at the root of the difficulties encountered in daily life. I decided to undertake the study of the flower therapy in a professional manner, initially at the academy of Doctor Valsecchi, then with personal further readings on the main reference books (first of all M. Scheffer and R. Orozco)”.

Question: “What are its main benefits?”.

Answer: “The benefits of the Bach flowers are numerous, but they can be substantially summarized in a greater awareness of your own emotions and of your own behavioral dysfunctional patterns. As a consequence of this, the opportunity and the will to change these patterns naturally follow, replacing them with healthier ways of living life and relationships”.

Question: “What simple use could you suggest us for our health?”.

Answer: “Usually, people who turn to flower therapy want to solve difficulties connected to the sphere of emotions: anxiety and fears, depression, indecision, affective dependencies, and dissatisfaction, are just some examples of issues that can be very effectively addressed through the Bach flowers. However, I want to highlight that I strongly dissuade from “doing it yourself”, with the exception of the Rescue Remedy, which you can take yourself, but which is better to be used only in sporadic cases of “emergency”. In fact, flower therapy requires a very thorough knowledge of the flowers and people, who improvise choosing flowers for themselves (or, worse, for others) without having adequately tested them on themselves and understood them in all their facets, will likely obtain mediocre, if not entirely absent, results. Hence, I recommend to contact an expert of the field, who is able to guide the person, who turns to him or to her, in a fascinating journey, aimed at the liberation of the most hidden emotions and at the full expression of the personal potential”.

Question: “What is your personal message for those who want to break free from manipulation?”.

Answer: “We are constantly surrounded by people, messages, and situations that try to manipulate us. And we personally, even though without realizing it, often try to manipulate those around us. The solution is only one, and it is called, once again, awareness. This means becoming increasingly aware of the attempts of others to control us and to induce us to do what we do not want; we should learn to recognize the moments when we give our aspirations up in order to satisfy someone, whom we are afraid to lose, or whom we fear. We should become able to clearly identify our sense of guilt, and our feelings of inadequacy or of low self-esteem, because they are all levers through which the manipulator gains power over us. A more conscious existence is undoubtedly the foundation of a free and authentic living”.

Thanks Walter!

In 2000, I met the Bach flowers for the first time on an agility ground. A veterinarian used to give them to her dog before the competitions. Later, I discovered that they were a natural remedy also for human use. I gathered information about them and attended a course on the subject just for personal purpose. It is an alternative medicine developed by the British physician Edward Bach (1886 – 1936) and based on 38 remedies derived from flowers and chosen according to the different personalities, to the kind of character, and the emotional state of the patient. You can use the emergency remedy in case of sudden, emotional and non emotional, trauma, for instance an accident, a death, or a calamity, and it is formed by five flowers: cherry plum, clematis, impatiens, rock rose and star of Bethlehem. People, who know it, usually have the habit to always bring it with themselves. In case of need, it is easy to take the drops at once in any place and circumstance, and it is reassuring to know that they act immediately and effectively.

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en

https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/soluzioniolisticheallemanipolazioniaffettive

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, I fiori di Bach di Walter