The Reiki of Lucia

Getting rid of emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Among these cares there are also the holistic disciplines, which you can select among those ones that you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and your personality.

Today it is the turn of Lucia’s Reiki.

Lucia Di Napoli is seventy years old and holds a university degree. Since 1994 she has been a holistic operator; in particular she is a shiatsu instructor, a yoga instructor, and a second level reiki.

Question: “Why did you become fond of this holistic discipline?”.

Answer: “I really appreciated reiki, because it allows me to bring benefits also to people, who are bedridden and, therefore, can not take the positions required by other holistic disciplines”.

Question: “What are its main benefits?”.

Answer: “Reiki acts very well on a psychological and even physical level, because it allows a rebalancing of our chakras that, as we know, are centers of energy to which organs and functions of our body are in correspondence”.

Question: “What simple use do you suggest for our health?”.

Answer: “The advice is to practice, also short, treatment cycles of seven or eight sessions, repeated at intervals of one or two months, to maintain the level of psychophysical wellbeing, so as to be able to face with greater determination the trials to which life subjects us”.

Question: “What is your personal message for people, who want to free themselves from emotional manipulation?”.

Answer: “If we strengthen our self, therefore our self-esteem, with the help of these holistic disciplines that have the primary purpose of healing our body, mind and spirit, we can better recognize and then face the people, who try to extort something from us emotionally”.

Thanks Lucia!

I met Lucia during the group vibrational treatments with gongs and Tibetan singing bowls of Alexandro (see the relevant interview). She is a kind and professional lady. Lucia teaches the holistic disciplines and tests them on herself, practicing them in person. I was surprised by her willingness and her curiosity to often attend sessions, conferences and meetings in the sector organized both by her fellow instructors and by her former students. She teaches, studies, and practices with continuity and constancy. Giving, receiving, and evolving.

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering


Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, Il reiki di Lucia



The Crystal Therapy of Francesca

Getting rid of emotional manipulation or narcissistic abuse requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Among these cares there are also the natural remedies, to be selected among those ones that you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Today it is the turn of the Crystal Therapy of Francesca.

Dr. Francesca Aveni is a childhood educator and a system-relational counselor. For over fifteen years, she has been studying alternative methods to solve emotional and non-emotional people’s problems. She is passionate about reading and she reads everything that can give her new ideas for creative solutions.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of this natural remedy?”.

Answer: “This passion, if we want to call it this way, has been a consequence of my studies. There should be an alternative method to traditional medicines and holism gave me the answers”.

Question: “What are its main benefits?”.

Answer: “The benefits of crystal therapy are manifold and various, ranging from the treatment of physical problems, such as inflammation, to helping in overcoming mourning. It is a slow but constant process that allows, in combination with traditional medicine, to heal certain diseases or illnesses or, better, to prevent them”.

Question: “What simple use do you suggest for our health?”.

Answer: “A very simple use that I recommend to everyone, as long as you do not suffer from hypertension, is to use a tumbled amethyst stone under the pillow in order to prevent headaches and nightmares. Amethyst relieves tensions, thus allowing a truly restorative sleep “.

Question: “What is your personal message for those who want to free themselves from emotional manipulation?”.

Answer: “To get rid of emotional dependence, I can recommend a combination of amazonite, calcite and dumortierite. They are stones that, when combined, eliminate the old harmful behaviors and induce to take control of your life “.

Thanks Francesca!

I had studied crystals and rocks at the third year of university for the geology examination at engineering. I never imagined that, after some decades, I would find the same stones under a totally different aspect: the therapeutic one.

I met Francesca for the first time at the Festival of the Orient in Naples, Italy, last September 2017. I had just finished my conference on emotional manipulation and was accompanying my niece in search of an object. She left her stand to come and hug my dog. After introductions and greetings, I looked around and, in the display of goods of Francesca, there was exactly what we were looking for. What a coincidence!

Namastè 🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering


Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, La cristalloterapia di Francesca

Photo (C) 2018 Paola Morgese


A link between emotional and economic manipulation

There is a subtle and insidious link between emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse) and economic manipulation.

There are manipulators and narcissists, men and women, who, for economic reasons, deprive the victims of their loved ones or fill them with gifts to bind them to themselves or, moreover, force them to live in deprivation in order to better control them, or impoverish them to meet their needs first of all.

For example, someone, who is forced, without any real need, to live in economic hardship by someone whom he/she loves, feels in trouble, is insecure and disoriented. The manipulator or narcissist can manage him/her as he/she wants. It is about economic and emotional avarice. The victim is so used to this “quid pro quo” mechanism, that is “I give you something, if you give me something in return or if you behave as I want”, that he/she sees as his/her reference only his/her tormentor . He/she cannot perceive that he/she has many more resources and many more opportunities.

Let us suppose that the victim needs a pencil and that the stationery stores are closed at that time. If he/she thinks that he/she can only obtain it by buying it where and how he/she has always done, he/she will wait for them to reopen. If, instead, the victim analyzes all the possible ways, with which he/she could come into possession of a pencil, he/she will realize that there are many more. He/she could meet a friend, who lends it to him/her or who gives it to him/her. While walking in the park, he/she could find it on a bench, forgotten or lost by someone. She/he could remember having it in her/his hair, because she/he has used it to tie it up in a ponytail.

As there are not only stationeries to obtain a pencil, so there are not only manipulators and narcissists as a reference. There are many other alternatives and many other people, whom very often victims, forced to live as in isolation, can no longer see.

The victim can also happen to be inundated with gifts, money and kindness when the manipulator or narcissist wants to impress her/him, wants to impress strangers, needs something from the victim, or has something to be forgiven.

Also in this case the victim falls into confusion: the link between love and economic well-being is ambiguous and unhealthy. A moment before, the manipulator or narcissist is ready to give her/him everything without asking or doing anything. A moment later, he/she has no right to anything and must undergo impositions and retaliation. Which are the right behaviors? Which the wrong ones? How does he/she get his/her pencil from the manipulator or the narcissist?

A victim is unable to understand that he/she has so many alternatives at his/her disposal and that they are all within reach. If she/he does not know the dynamics of emotional manipulation and narcissistic abuse, she/he will think that she/he is wrong. If she/he thinks that these mechanisms are normal among people who love each other, she/he will tend to repeat them with her/his loved ones. He/she will not realize that there are healthier and more productive methods to deal with other people.

Wrongly thinking that love is an exchange of commodities that can be bought, sold, bartered or lent, a victim of emotional and economic manipulation will think that it is normal to be surrounded by other people, who behave that way. Repeating the actions of his/her manipulators and narcissists, he/she will remove from himself/herself people, who are capable of giving and receiving sincere and unconditional love.

Then there are manipulators and narcissists, who for economic claims or spite deprive the victim of his/her dearest ones. This can happen, for instance, because of issues connected with inheritance disputes or to daughters and sons, who are contended between parents fighting each other. The victim may be required, for money matters, to take sides against someone whom he/she cares about. She/he may be forced to no longer see brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, or grandparents.

In this case too, love and money are confused. In this case too, manipulation undermines both the emotional and the economic well-being of the victim. Healthy family relationships are based on love bonds and not on economic ties. This confusion will also reign in the life of the victim, if he/she does not notice it and refuses it.

Economic well-being and security go hand in hand with emotional well-being and security. If someone has done everything in his/her capability, if he/she has studied, if he/she has worked hard and if he/she has committed himself/herself with all his/her strength without being able to achieve his/her economic and affective objectives, perhaps the answer is precisely in the emotional and economic manipulation that he/she has suffered.

If someone in his/her life has met too many manipulators and narcissists, he/she could not know all his/her resources, could not have seen all the opportunities at his/her disposal, could have been exploited and exhausted, could make confusion between love and money, and could not have the right emotional support.

Love is not for sale, is not attachment and is not dependence, on the contrary, it is given at no cost, is liberty, and autonomy.

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, Legame tra manipolazioni affettive ed economiche


Emotional Manipulation (Narcissistic Abuse) Q&A 1 – 5

Emotional Manipulation (Narcissistic Abuse) Q&A 1 – 5

Question 1

  1. Someone, who anticipates your needs, is:

a) a manipulator (man or woman);
b) a victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse);
c) someone who loves you.

Question 2

  1. Someone, who gives you wellbeing, serenity and safety, is:

a) a manipulator (man or woman);
b) a victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse);
c) someone who loves you.

Question 3

  1. Someone, who behaves in an economically responsible way towards you, is:

a) a manipulator (man or woman);
b) a victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse);
c) someone who loves you.

Question 4

  1. Someone, to whom you can entrust what is dearest to you, is:

a) a manipulator (man or woman);
b) a victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse);
c) someone who loves you.

Question 5

  1. Someone, who tires and wears you out, is:

a) a manipulator (man or woman);
b) a victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse);
c) someone who loves you.

Answer 1

If you are in a healthy relationship, someone who anticipates your needs is someone, who takes care of your needs and loves you.

If you are in a bad relationship, the cases are two.

  1. He or she is a manipulator, who wants to dupe you.
  2. He or she is a victim of your manipulations, which fears being abandoned and does everything to satisfy you, with the risk of losing his or her dignity.

Answer 2

Someone, who gives you wellbeing, serenity and safety, is someone who loves you and makes you feel “at home”.

Manipulators, men and women, love to keep their victims on tenterhooks, between ups and downs, on purpose.

Victims of emotional manipulations (narcissistic abuse) transmit, and make heavy, their own anxieties and fears, often unknowingly.

Answer 3

Generally, economically responsible people are people, who put into practice values ​​and principles of economic sustainability. For example, they evaluate the ratios quality/price and cost/benefit, consider expenses and investments in the short, medium and long term. They avoid waste. They have the wellbeing and the needs of their loved ones and of future generations at heart.

So, someone, who behaves in an economically responsible way towards you, is someone who loves you. He or she takes care of your needs. He or she acts in a timely, equitable, and balanced way, and by mutual consent.

Manipulators, men and women, want to meet their immediate needs. They spend and waste to impress their victims or strangers. They keep their savings only for themselves. They make promises and postpone, or swallow. They impose economic privations on their victims to scare them and to subdue them.

A victim of emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse) is engaged in economically meeting the needs of manipulators, men and women, in a priority way, even without knowing it. He or she can be economically exploited and deceived.

Answer 4

Someone, to whom you can entrust what is dearest to you (for example: house, family members, animals, goods, and savings), is someone who loves you. He or she will take care of them with diligence and good sense.

Manipulators (men and women) are focused only on their needs and on what they want to achieve. They could take possession of your savings. They could neglect or damage your goods artfully.

Generally, a victim of emotional manipulations (narcissistic abuse) is a dependable person. It is for this reason that the manipulator (man or woman) has chosen him or her, but the dependence on them could be too strong. Or, the manipulator might have any interest towards you. In both cases, your goods or your loved ones, if entrusted to the victim, could be in danger.

Answer 5

Someone who loves you, makes you feel well, excites you, and helps you in making your wishes come true.

Someone, who tires and wears you out (“energy vampire”), could be either a manipulator, man or woman, or a victim of emotional manipulations (narcissistic abuse).

Manipulators, men and women, swallow good mood, joy, proactivity, and optimism literally. With their constant criticisms and complaints, they grieve and weaken the people they interact with, even physically. Also when they are cheerful, they know how to leave bitterness in your mouth. They are capable of sabotaging the projects of their victims.

Victims of emotional manipulations (narcissistic abuse) are inclined to repeat some of the usual behaviors of their manipulators. If the dependence is strong, also the victims are ungrateful, catastrophic, disheartening, and caustic.

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering


A project in a book: how project management defeats narcissistic abuse

The launch of the English version of “Holistic Solutions to Emotional Manipulation” is the opportunity for unveiling a secret about this book. It is a project that uses a project management methodology to defeat narcissistic abuse with holistic solutions.

If you are a supporter of project management, you can add a brand new success to this discipline.

Here are the reasons.

The book is divided in five chapters, each of them representing a specific process group: initiating, planning, executing, monitoring and controlling, and closing.

There are instructions to develop an action plan to defeat emotional manipulation and a check list to organize the work.

Each section analyzes ten project management knowledge areas in detail: scope, time, costs, quality, human resource, communications, procurement, risks, stakeholders, and integration.

A project management methodology is applied to the solution of narcissistic abuse through the use of holistic disciplines, which work on body, mind and spirit simultaneously.

You could say that this is a strange experiment, using a rational matter as project management in order to treat something that is often evanescent, spiritual, and intangible. But I can assure you that it works.

I tested this method on myself because, being an engineer and a project manager, this approach belongs to my own behavior and habits.

The readers, men and women, of this book, who are very far from being project managers and who maybe do not even know what project management is, used it for their own particular cases. And this method worked for them too.

Here is what a reader wrote to me: “The book has shown me a very useful method to remove the author of the manipulation forever, …”. You can read the complete interview in this blog post.

These encouraging results are a further proof of the power and of the versatility of project management.

We, as project managers, can be very proud of its magic.

The birth of a new book is always exciting. Who knows where it will go, who will browse its pages, and who will take it in her or his heart. Welcome! “Holistic Solutions to Emotional Manipulation

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering

The Natural Remedies of Maurizio

To be free from emotional manipulation requires care, attention and simple daily actions.

Natural remedies are among these attentions, which you can choose according to what you like the most and consider the most effective for your case and for your personality.

Let us know them better.

Today it is the turn of the Natural Remedies of Maurizio.

Maurizio Roberto Sena has a degree in Naturopathy, Herbal and Ecological Sciences. He is a naturopath (natural health practitioner) and bioenergetics expert. He lives between Naples and Rome (Italy). Maurizio studies non-conventional therapies and ethnic medicine, and works in various Italian cities to spread them, thanks to availability and his ability to communicate. He practices and teaches herbal therapy, flower therapy, herbal treatment, and therapy with trace elements. Maurizio provides technical consulting on behalf of herbal companies. Being fond of radionics, he carries out extensive researches into the treatment with ultramolecular therapy. He provides workshops on body functionality at private schools and centers.

Question: “How, when and why have you become fond of natural remedies?”.

Answer: “It all started when I was about 25 years old and had a health problem that had lasted for two years, in which I have taken everything and more of medicines. Then, I met a homeopath doctor, who healed me in one month”.

Question: “What are their main benefits?”.

Answer: “The benefit is not in the remedy as it is natural, but in the ability of the therapist to be able to identify the person, who is asking for help and, as a result of this finding, to give him or her a bio-physical substance that stimulates his or her life force (Vis Medicatrix Naturae), that is the induction to the ability of the body (microcosm) to live in harmony with the universe (macrocosm), where there are no pathogenic agents “on purpose”.

Question: “What simple natural remedy could you suggest us for our health?”.

Answer: “There is not a remedy that heals, as I said before, because there is not the disease but the sick person. This indicates the action of the therapist in identifying the person with his or her psycho-physical baggage. Therefore: holistic medicine, that is a medicine which is directed to the individual as a “whole”.

Question: “What is your personal message for those who want to break free from manipulation?”.

Answer: “Health is a journey through time and space. We are in a historical moment where the “omnipotence syndrome” draws crowds (that is, “I do not need the help of anyone”). It makes most people believe that they can heal by themselves, simply by consulting the Internet, looking for the miraculous remedy, and it makes them think to be smart, because they saved a professional bill. However, it is the duty of the therapist to accompany and to teach the patient the way, which is the best one for him or her, that will lead to the ability of using his or her holistic system to self heal”.

Thanks Maurizio!

I met Maurizio this year during two of his free seminars. Doctors, naturopaths and experts in bioenergetics took part in the first, crowded, event. In addition to topics that I already knew, such as homeopathy and Bach flowers, I heard for the first time about diathesis and “signatura”. The second meeting, which I had the privilege and the courtesy to attend, was reserved only for doctors. During this exclusive seminar, also the phytotherapy was deepened. It is a discipline that should be rediscovered and valued above all with reference to the local Mediterranean species.

Namastè  🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, I rimedi naturali di Maurizio


Systemic Family Constellations

Systemic family constellations can be of help in the solution of emotional manipulation, or narcissistic abuse, both for identifying the manipulator, man or woman, and for working on specific events.

It often happens that manipulators, cowards as they are, are hidden behind other people. They could wear a mask, or they could camouflage, or they could even mingle with the crowds.

Specific events, which have particularly upset or wounded us, need to be faced, accepted, understood, analyzed, and reappraised. Our mind may have magnified the problem. Returning it to a physical space, with our feet on the ground, focusing on emotions and bodily sensations, helps to reconnect with the reality of things and with ourselves.

Systemic constellations use a spatial language in order to bring to light the relationships and the dynamics of a social system. A family is a particular social system. Through this method, emotional, affective and cognitive learning is stimulated.

Family constellations were invented in the 1980s, in the United States, by a family therapist named Virginia Satir, who asked her patients to create a sculpture of their own family.

Modern systemic family constellations can be performed in the following three main ways, and always under the supervision and coordination of an expert facilitator.

  • On a table, also on a floor or on a board, in individual form or in group, through the use and the relative positioning of blocks or figures of different color and size, which represent material entities, such as people and components of the family group, but also intangible items, such as emotions or problems. This technique produces a low emotional involvement.
  • With external representatives, who are outside the family context and are not involved in the events. In this case, constellations can take place in an open form, that is people are aware of what they represent, or in a hidden form, that is people do not know which item they are representing. In the hidden form, they cause a medium emotional involvement, while in the open form there is a high emotional involvement.
  • With the real members of the family that you want to analyze. In this situation, the emotional involvement is very high.

There are four basic ordered principles in family constellations:

  1. Everyone has the same right to be a member of the family system;
  2. An older child takes precedence over a younger child;
  3. The current family takes precedence over the family of origin;
  4. Anyone, who provides a greater contribution, takes precedence over a person with less contribution.

The first principle guarantees the existence of the family system. The second principle ensures growth and propagation. The third principle regulates the flow of energy, the immune strength and the health of the family system. The fourth principle relates to the maturity of the family members through an assessment of their individual skills.

The fact that the principles should be followed in the indicated order means that the existence of the family is the most important factor. For instance, if a family member is excluded, or is removed or is forgotten or, even, is abused, then the family itself is disintegrated. Its very existence is questioned and it makes no sense to consider the next principles.

You may need also to include absent individuals, or dead persons, in the family group and to remember that parents give while children take. Inverting these principles means to literally destroy a family.

Because of the empathy, which develops during a constellation, observers can feel a high emotional involvement too.

If there are animals, for instance dogs and cats, in the family group, they should be represented in the constellation. Moreover, the technique of the family constellation could be helpful in the understanding and in the solution of anomalous behaviors of pets. Family events transfer, and have consequences, also to them.

If you suffer, or have suffered, from emotional manipulation, or narcissistic abuse, reading these rules on the good health of a family group has surely helped you to clarify some of your personal situations, which remained obscure so far, and has provided you with the answers to many of your questions that were pending.

Treasure these principles and apply them to your new family.

Namastè  🙂

Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering

Huemann M., Eskerod P., Ringhofer C., 2016, Rethink! Project Stakeholder Management, Project Management Institute, USA

Translation of the Italian blog post: Paola Morgese, Le costellazioni familiari sistemiche