How do manipulators and narcissists alter reality to their advantage?
They show themselves perfect and splendid with strangers and in public, while they make “cannon fodder” of their victims in private.
Is the victim a good person? We can take advantage of her (or him).
Does she (or he) believe what we say? We can deceive her.
Does she need information? We give incomplete, false or wrong data to her.
Is she willing? We can exploit her.
Is she sweet? We can devour her.
Has she a good reputation? We can defame her.
Is she sensitive? We can torment her.
Has she anything that we need? We take it.
Does she trust? We can cheat her.
Is she happy? We can scare her.
They use techniques of destruction of personal identity. They instill insecurity and disorientation in their victims. They blackmail and discredit them to obtain what they want. They confuse them, to the point of overturning situations and events completely. They make them feel guilty and inadequate. They demand to have them at their disposal always and immediately. They invent. They pretend. They accuse. They tease. They create discord, anxiety, and uncertainty. They play with the lives of other people. They love to hold people in their power and do not want to let them go.
They simulate urgencies, difficulties and needs, which do not exist. They ask for sacrifices and renunciations from their victims with the excuse of the common good, when, in reality, it is only for their own interests. They show themselves committed to resolving a delicate issue of the victim, and let it expire and putrefy instead. They raise obstacles, where there would be a cleared way. They create problems instead of finding solutions. They blame the victims for events that never happened.
If you are unaware of these dynamics, everything is confused and clouded. If the situation is not clear or is altered, decisions could be made on impulse or wrongly, with dangerous personal, family and collective consequences.
In English all this is called “gaslighting” and is described very well in the 2016 film “The Girl on the Train”.
However, manipulations are based on words and images, while the real and verifiable facts tell a completely different story.
Paola Morgese, PMP
Civil Hydraulic Engineer
M.S. Sanitary and Environmental Engineering
http://it.linkedin.com/in/ingpaolamorgese/en
https://sustainableprojectsblog.wordpress.com/
Photo: The key © Paola Morgese 2023
Translation of the Italian article: “Come le manipolazioni alterano la realtà”
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